My Fight Song

 

gilr by tree

I’m laying in bed this morning talking to God about this writers conference I’m headed to in Charlotte.

The conference where I’ve so brazenly scheduled an appointment with a publisher, as if…

I’m going over all the ways my book material is lacking. I’m totaling all the money spent on this trip so far. I’m agonizing over the timed fifteen minute meeting with said publisher.

What in the world am I going to say?

Can I google that? Is there a You Tube tutorial on how to act?

I imagine sitting across from Kim Bangs of Bethany House, smiling through the awkward silence as the seconds tick away.

But then God speaks.

Root for the Master, not the disaster. 
 

I know this came from God because I’m not that clever. I hear it again.

Root for the Master, not the disaster.
 

And then again.

It’s becomes a chant in my mind. An anthem. Louder and louder until it drowns out every other thought.
And then it starts to sink in.

This project, this Jeremiah 30:2 call to:
Write in a book all the words I have spoken to you
is bigger than me.

It doesn’t matter how raw or how polished the material is. It doesn’t matter if this whole thing is, in fact, a total disaster.

If God called it, it will come. Jesus said, with man this is impossible but with God; all things are possible with God.

I had dinner with some very dear Christian friends last night. They all tried to tell me this in so many tangible words. Funny how the message doesn’t quite sink in until its whispered directly into my soul from God.  I’m stubborn, I know.
So I decided.
I’m rooting for God on this one.
Not me.
Not the project.
I’m rooting for God to show up all over it.
I’m going to stop focusing on the strength of my book proposal.
I’m going to stop focusing on the strength of my anything and start focusing on the strength of my God.

 

Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

And no one can fathom the depths of his understanding.

Isaiah 40:28

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